tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24420270864501788142024-03-19T14:10:04.933-07:00Searching for George ClooneyMy Odyssey to Swim the English Channel and to Find True LoveSpeedwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16294062505751359294noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442027086450178814.post-5729218445953809232014-02-24T10:07:00.001-08:002014-02-24T10:07:27.094-08:00Committed<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP0tOH3nVq7khAHuERD0jpNHYW1eGQKbxSTs7AVw-0CJUcpYJGUcXdTE65TltMXduWo4eJ8H11lafzTVgHVV-OM9_0TvMuFFOE7wVof_GpXJaK79Zm4ZdEItAtdllaPnHhM1Ohda1LXlI/s1600/Downtown-Indy-7am_Blog2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP0tOH3nVq7khAHuERD0jpNHYW1eGQKbxSTs7AVw-0CJUcpYJGUcXdTE65TltMXduWo4eJ8H11lafzTVgHVV-OM9_0TvMuFFOE7wVof_GpXJaK79Zm4ZdEItAtdllaPnHhM1Ohda1LXlI/s1600/Downtown-Indy-7am_Blog2.jpg" height="640" width="498" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>My little world at about 7 AM. The bus ride I take to North Central High School most Saturdays<br />is very different from the one I passed through this last weekend to get to Warren Central High School.<br />The former is a pretty ride, lined mostly with nice houses that the owners have taken care to repaint and restore.<br />The latter was another world, where several homes had graffiti on the front, marking places where<br />someone had died, probably violently. The difficulties most of those folks have in keeping a roof over their<br />families' heads and food in their bellies can be seen in the faded paint, torn siding, and rotted wood<br />on many of the structures. My efforts to get into shape, to end my obesity and to *find* George Clooney<br />are very First World difficulties, set set in the shadows of the homes I passed.<br /></i></td></tr>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">This winter has been hard on everyone, everywhere. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Too much snow in places that don't see a lot of it, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">drought on the West Coast. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">The rivers here are over-running their banks </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">while others are going dry.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">The world is full of people with serious problems.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">The TV news doesn't even begin </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">to describe </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">the range </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">of ecological, biological </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">and political issues </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">that face us.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">In comparison, I am a simple woman </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">with decidedly </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">First World problems. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Today, </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">I will go to swim, determined to make up </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">the time lost </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">due to weather-related cancellations </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">of our practices, while other folks just try to survive </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">another day. I remind myself of this reality</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">every time I start to bitch. Well, I do most of the time.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Last Saturday, the practice usually held at North Central </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">High School </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">was </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">held instead at Warren Central, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">on the far east side of town. I left home at 6 a.m. to</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">catch the bus downtown where I would catch another bus</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">that'd take me </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">to the 9500 block of East 21st Street. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">From there </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">I would just walk a half-mile south </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">to the high school </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">to make </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">the 9 a.m. session. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Easy peasy, right? Right.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Fucking Google maps.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">The Indygo transit system website links to</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Google maps to show viewers routes to their </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">destinations. I'd used the website to plan my trip,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">allowing about thirty minutes to find the correct building</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">and to change into my swimsuit. The ride to the</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">east side of town was okay. I got off the bus </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">near the 9500 block were I expected to find a cross</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">street that would take me south to the school.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Nah-dah. Instead, I found myself in an older housing</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">development made up of 1960's ranch homes</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">sited along winding side streets. I could see the high</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">school through the trees and roof tops, but I could not</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">reach it because every road leading from the </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">street </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I was on was actually a cul-de-sac, </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">a dead end.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I suppose I should have known that, when the gray line</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">on the map describing the walk from the bus line </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">to the school ended in a squiggle, it wasn't </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">to describe </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">a round-about but was instead </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">showing </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">a knot of </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">its own confusion.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Frustrated, I walked west, back to Post Road, the </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">last north-south intersection I had passed on the bus.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Dogs barked at me from their yards, large bite-osaureses</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">warning me of their intent to eat the middle-aged</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">woman who'd entered their territory.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Their woofing declarations were taken up by</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">their canine neighbors along the way as I walked </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">the half-mile back </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">to the intersection, </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">then </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">south another half </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">mile to Sixteenth Street, </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">then east </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">AGAIN! </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">repeating the half mile to the school.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Of course, I was very late to practice, </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">but I did get </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">to swim for a while. The pool was </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">very nice, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I saw some nice people, and I got an additional </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">bit of </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">exercise </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">in the form of three miles of walking.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">But I hated being late and was embarrassed that</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">my First World dependence on an e-map </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">had </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">influenced </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">my poor decision.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Effing Google maps.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
Speedwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16294062505751359294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442027086450178814.post-38621320108228907482014-02-11T10:18:00.000-08:002014-02-11T10:18:15.451-08:00Searching for George Clooney<div style="text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb1R3GOgxIIAU2po40FNxTN0qRSvzpOOIS__Ff-vvCB_WA3wtKmp-YsnTSZSNW-DnXkLVcHDtZDKD5iKVlvH7jTzgeYoN4UvrkhcmiAlipcW9EXvgUOcva21-pW_YWogwxRCXhszqlrNk/s1600/George-Clooney_Blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb1R3GOgxIIAU2po40FNxTN0qRSvzpOOIS__Ff-vvCB_WA3wtKmp-YsnTSZSNW-DnXkLVcHDtZDKD5iKVlvH7jTzgeYoN4UvrkhcmiAlipcW9EXvgUOcva21-pW_YWogwxRCXhszqlrNk/s1600/George-Clooney_Blog.jpg" height="640" width="625" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">This blog started with the title, <i>A Manatee Among the Seal People</i>, </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">a description of my obese </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">body swimming </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">amid </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">a bunch of sleek, </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">experienced swimmers. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">As a couple friends have pointed out, however, </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">I look less </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">and less like a manatee. </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">Increasingly, my appearance </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">has taken on that </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">of the seals </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">I want to emulate.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I now resemble a Shar Pei, but I couldn't think of a clever</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">way to incorporate the breed name into a title.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">As a way of describing my goals, <i>Searching for George Clooney</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">is absolutely dead on </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">because finding </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">George </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">(for myself) </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">seems as realistic </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">as Don Quixote </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">tilting at windmills. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">While my efforts to become a swimmer </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">strong </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">enough to swim </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">the English Channel and to win the love </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">of a man I adore </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">may just </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">fall into the same categories, </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">just trying is worth it </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">because </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I will achieve a healthier, </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">stronger body </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">and become </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">more self-assured.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin-KU39w6DPbJhntIifu2H9pZLOC7bO2x8r3nB1LLda13d2r1dcaxLI6pRjiMj1lQhXXzv6QFWmAQvzEQwp_eXrVf4CWBdC2bamExYwlOq8UbqfN7L7-P7Uq5vF_V5hI44-q5TyKl33yw/s1600/George-Clooney2_Blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin-KU39w6DPbJhntIifu2H9pZLOC7bO2x8r3nB1LLda13d2r1dcaxLI6pRjiMj1lQhXXzv6QFWmAQvzEQwp_eXrVf4CWBdC2bamExYwlOq8UbqfN7L7-P7Uq5vF_V5hI44-q5TyKl33yw/s1600/George-Clooney2_Blog.jpg" height="214" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Gawd, how could I not love a face like that?</span></div>
Speedwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16294062505751359294noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442027086450178814.post-12328334374285632772014-02-10T09:13:00.001-08:002014-02-10T09:13:19.901-08:00Motivation<div style="text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkZ4h_Yqr9aW065TejbaJHQ7BTrbAzDL23mnyGUYWyjD6uCFHHcIaX_NKAggG0_DkJk_L-odo8kEDXrd8RfM057Nti3iUd6MCp2ly11Z8s6Ztap9b3i6V9UbJWtHAxFVwRvzXV2yIZb-Y/s1600/Pool-Changes_Blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkZ4h_Yqr9aW065TejbaJHQ7BTrbAzDL23mnyGUYWyjD6uCFHHcIaX_NKAggG0_DkJk_L-odo8kEDXrd8RfM057Nti3iUd6MCp2ly11Z8s6Ztap9b3i6V9UbJWtHAxFVwRvzXV2yIZb-Y/s1600/Pool-Changes_Blog.jpg" height="640" width="568" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">My evening practices have not gone well. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I'm just not feeling the love. I swim and quit, start again. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I'm not out of breath and don't feel overly stressed, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">just lethargic and discouraged.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Even Brian said on one occasion he thought he'd lost me.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I've just wanted to hide in a corner of the pool, </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">to have a little </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">pity party.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">It has been this way since December; the cold</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">temperatures made my shoulders achy and stiff.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">As I swim I try figure out whether I am stressing myself</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">just enough to improve or causing injury. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Instead, I end up </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">trying to not do any damage.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">A lot of us have missed quite a bit of practice </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">due to </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">weather-related cancellations, so I am not alone.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">I guess what I am doing is just </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">trying to catch up with myself. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">A week ago, I put in a good effort at a Saturday </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">practice </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">session </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">and the troubles of the past </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">weeks </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">seemed to fall away.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: x-large;">And the psychological games continue.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">On Monday, I was rude to someone I love </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">and I've felt lousy about it since. The person has been </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">nothing but kind to me, but I let myself have my</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">feelings hurt by another woman's emotional games,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">and I took it out on him. There's no explaining to a man</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">the nightmares that came back to haunt me as I watched</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">a woman young enough to be our daughter tossing her </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">fanny around for the benefit of a man I like.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I grew up watching as other girls flirted with, dated,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">and married boys I'd liked. I never knew how to play</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">their games. I wasn't pretty and didn't have</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">the lines of chat they did. I retreated into my books</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">and artwork, knowing there was probably</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">never going to be a similar scenario for me.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">So many years later, while all logic and reason tells me</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">differently, the pain came back almost as</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">sharply as it did back then, and I allowed myself</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">to be manipulated by her games.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I've since apologized to the man, but somehow</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I felt as though it was not enough. I think he was more</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">hurt than he let on. </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">I keep telling myself that things will work out</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">the way I want them just as long as I keep working hard</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"> in the pool, </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">make nice drawings and paintings, </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">take decent pictures, and </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">continue to find ways to become</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">a decent writer. In the meanwhile, I've learned</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">that one keeps learning hard lessons every day, and I hope</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I can learn them without hurting people I care about.</span></div>
Speedwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16294062505751359294noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442027086450178814.post-86948838231340274282014-01-12T15:00:00.000-08:002014-01-12T16:22:39.104-08:00"The Girls" May Try to Break for Freedom<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTuL2WO9tq8EpYeZvSUdIPUMc5B2HxP7GbC0Z1Fa8zBgnZ0MVH9ZjPECRNJ95nBpD9856f7VRn7H68u6XO1VCbaXaLmW1RXimev7-9hrGgNyv36Z0Dx-ekKkWHoTgVRZEMWkRGgtzIK5s/s1600/NCHS-Pool-Quiet2_Blog2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTuL2WO9tq8EpYeZvSUdIPUMc5B2HxP7GbC0Z1Fa8zBgnZ0MVH9ZjPECRNJ95nBpD9856f7VRn7H68u6XO1VCbaXaLmW1RXimev7-9hrGgNyv36Z0Dx-ekKkWHoTgVRZEMWkRGgtzIK5s/s1600/NCHS-Pool-Quiet2_Blog2.jpg" width="498" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">The photo above shows the pool North Central High School, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">where I usually go to swim on Saturdays with other </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">members of Indy Aquatics Masters. Snow and extreme cold </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">had closed schools and most of the pools where IAM </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">practice sessions are held, so that meant a lot of people,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">including children from area schools showed up </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">to swim. The place was crowded and noisy all morning</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">with the purposeful flurry of people swimming laps,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">back and forth as they performed drills intended </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">to improve their conditioning and times.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I'd missed quite a bit of time in the pool over the past</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">month, so have been feeling the effort more</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">than usual. My weight loss has been stagnant, too,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">so I feel the need to return to my routine.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Nevertheless, one of the other members gave me an </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">encouraging word the other night, when he remarked that</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">he noticed how much stronger I've been swimming.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">He's an experienced triathlete, a man who's competed </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">in ten Iron Man triathlons so his comment meant a lot to me.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">After Saturday's practice, I looked in the mirror </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">to notice that my swimsuit has started to get baggy, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">so was both pleased and dismayed to see how much </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">the suit had loosened around my boobs.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">It was an additional month before my last suit began to </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">cling to my body, instead of compressing it.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I bought my present one just a couple months ago!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Seriously, just eight weeks ago. And they're not cheap;</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">the last one cost just over $100, including shipping.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">It took me a while to earn the money to buy my suit,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">and wore the old one longer than I should have; while </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I kept telling myself that our coaches have seen a nipple or </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">two during their lives, it wasn't long before </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I was myself too embarrassed to wear the damn thing</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">one more time. So the upshot is this: since June,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">between dieting and swimming, I've gone through three</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">suits, with a fourth to come in the next few weeks. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I have another </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">one in a drawer that I tried on </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">and it is now a bit too large, as well.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Besides, it's not suitable for the kind of swimming </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I do, </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">being too low cut. </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">I'd probably come </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">out of it altogether - or in the altogether.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I'm sure it'd be a real scene to have The Girls' </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">noses </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">peeping from under </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">the shelter of the </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">suit's Mossy Break-up camouflage print.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I love that print and wish Speedo or Tyr</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">would make a suit from it. No such luck, I guess. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
Speedwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16294062505751359294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442027086450178814.post-86632974979018496672014-01-04T20:00:00.001-08:002014-02-11T10:21:58.439-08:00Social Behavior Adaptations Needed<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://women.smokefree.gov/media/78228/girl_looking_in_mirror.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Illustration borrowed from smokefree(dot)gov</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">When asked why I want to lose weight, I generally ask whether </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">the person wants the politically correct reason or the truth.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">The PC reason, of course, is "for my health" and,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">while it is legitimate because of concerns about high cholesterol</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">and the possibility of developing Type 2 diabetes,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">the truth is I am tired of being invisible, </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">invisible to men </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">and to prospective employers.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">But especially to men.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">All my life, I've dealt with issues related to </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">my body image. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Basically, I had/have none. </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">As a child, my brother, sister </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">and I were neglected, </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">unkempt and unwashed. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I was rarely addressed by my name; </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">classmates </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">called me "Stinky," "Cootie," or </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">"Scag." </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Until I was well into my 20's I was often </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">called ugly to my face. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">A</span><span style="font-size: x-large;">t the age most girls begin dating, </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">it was clear to me </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">that the boys I liked </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">would not </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">be paying attention to me </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">because, </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">well, </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">I was, of course, </span><i style="font-size: xx-large;">ugly</i><span style="font-size: x-large;">. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Confused </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">and insecure, </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">I could tell you more </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">about the fantasy </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">world </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">I wove </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">for myself </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">than I could any details </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">of my everyday life.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi107kvF5vvdFxXZDGTM200wdBgGd8c3VhyHvYEROcLeAeYpi7trVyKi57ItkTqVKyud-0hKUOYtoSvXSrG8Z3dOI5okbr3OgOe-58hl0yHurXsgMJi9Cw7SHhN_ScXf8vFbxPYEb41otI/s1600/Ludmilla_Blog2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi107kvF5vvdFxXZDGTM200wdBgGd8c3VhyHvYEROcLeAeYpi7trVyKi57ItkTqVKyud-0hKUOYtoSvXSrG8Z3dOI5okbr3OgOe-58hl0yHurXsgMJi9Cw7SHhN_ScXf8vFbxPYEb41otI/s320/Ludmilla_Blog2.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">One summer during college, I watched television coverage</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">of the Russian gymnasts competing in the Olympic </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">Games. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">The women had beautifully sculpted </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">bodies, </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">like racing Thoroughbreds, honed and lean </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">from years </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">spent in the gym. It occurred to me </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">that, </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">if weight training helped to create the gymnasts' </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">looks, </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">it could do the same for me.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I went to the strength coach at my university,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">a middle-aged man who worked with football players, </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">gymnasts, and wrestlers. Of course, he'd never</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">before worked with a woman. Coach Bill developed a routine </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">for me, basically the same as the men were doing,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">but with lighter weights and more repetitions.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">In order to avoid developing bulk, he added a lot</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">of stretching exercises to increase my flexibility.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Over the next year, I lost about twenty pounds. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">There must have been dramatic changes</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">in my appearance, but I never saw them myself, not</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">in a mirror (that I can recall) nor in a photograph.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I just remember what the measuring tape</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">told me, 38-25-38, and the fact that nice-looking</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">men were coming out of nowhere to hit on me.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Having very little social experience to speak of,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I had no way of knowing that men who say</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">nice words weren't necessarily nice men.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I had worked hard in the gym only to find that I was</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">experiencing the opposite end of the same stick;</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">at one end was the chubby girl who was seen as "easy"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">because she'd be grateful for the attention,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">and at the other end was the young woman who </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">was </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">"asking for it" because she was fit and took care of herself.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">The worst of these experiences involved an episode</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">of date rape that left me physically injured, very ill,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">and traumatized. I retreated into my shell and,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">while I maintained my conditioning for many years,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I rarely went out and became wrapped up in work,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">going out on very few dates.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Many years later, the toned and shapely woman</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">disappeared into obesity brought on by a sit-down</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">job as a customer service rep for the IRS. My co-workers</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">and I were under the control of a management staff</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">that created and maintained a very toxic working</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">environment. I gained weight so fast I was in</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">constant pain, topping out at about 275 pounds.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I retired as soon as I was able, preferring poverty</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">to slowly dying at my desk.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Last spring, with the help of my doctor and</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">a dietitian, I began to lose weight. A big part of my</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">success so far has been due to the swimming I do.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">But I again I find myself having to face old demons</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">as the rats come out of the cracks in the walls.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">When I returned to my part-time job last November</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"> for an </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">assignment, </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">men who could not have been</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">bothered with me in May suddenly found a "new girl."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">One man, of whom I am a bit scared, was offended that</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I didn't want to go out with him. He didn't know why</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I should be afraid of him because he couldn't</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">recall ever speaking to me. Uh-huh.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I shared the same lunch table with him on two or three</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">occasions just last spring. Apparently, </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">I was "invisible,"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">but as I emerge from my lard cocoon, my existence</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">may be acknowledged.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">So ... how do I learn to handle this?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Listening to my instincts has helped me to avoid</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">trouble in the past, but how to I develop</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">a gracious way of avoiding bad feelings in the future?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
Speedwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16294062505751359294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2442027086450178814.post-66339883718838311182014-01-01T15:52:00.000-08:002014-01-07T05:32:31.098-08:00The Start<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTXJXoqB_eGcJg_ileL0wU6tC24uNTnYJbMBwaN9OxMC_v1MbGoG7cTd2V7sAdtMouZdwhtNYnkoC4Fw0hyG3yyTG_Z7wH7nYs2ESjoGd90551LEtMKn8i6OuR46DGgmG4mb5xqMuLpck/s1600/it-begins_Blog2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTXJXoqB_eGcJg_ileL0wU6tC24uNTnYJbMBwaN9OxMC_v1MbGoG7cTd2V7sAdtMouZdwhtNYnkoC4Fw0hyG3yyTG_Z7wH7nYs2ESjoGd90551LEtMKn8i6OuR46DGgmG4mb5xqMuLpck/s640/it-begins_Blog2.jpg" height="640" width="498" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Red toe buds, painted because I'm acquiring some sense of feminine identity.</i><br />
<i>Wouldn't have done it as a habit earlier, but now I do and take pleasure in it.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">A co-worker recently asked me how I had gone about </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">losing nearly seventy pounds since last April. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">After I'd told him a bit of my story he said he found it </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">inspiring and felt that I should write about my journey </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">and the places it has been taking me. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I decided I should start another blog because it would give me </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">a place to keep notes about my observations and experiences.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">It's not going to be about weight loss and recipes as much </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">as it will be about swimming and the journey </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I make towards achieving my goals:</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">to have a sleek, healthy body and to be able to swim </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">one-half mile in less than thirty minutes.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPXqNUw_rBKGZD7rkOnTWrea0_o3jm4t2nMfZ61KHoDeQeyrorCYCzCsGrGXrMinUBxzbTMM1TMoPjEOL4TpL3WbQDB6399eOYADS84d15b4kIcK9RGVbZXWh1fTkX3O0iHUYxBOiUwgk/s1600/FatGirlinLock2_Blog2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPXqNUw_rBKGZD7rkOnTWrea0_o3jm4t2nMfZ61KHoDeQeyrorCYCzCsGrGXrMinUBxzbTMM1TMoPjEOL4TpL3WbQDB6399eOYADS84d15b4kIcK9RGVbZXWh1fTkX3O0iHUYxBOiUwgk/s400/FatGirlinLock2_Blog2.jpg" height="400" width="311" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>This picture, taken in September of 2007,</i><br />
<i>shows me weighing in at 275 pounds, which is about the same</i><br />
<i>weight I was when I began this odyssey in March 2013.</i><br />
<i>I didn't have any other photos of myself where I wasn't hiding </i><br />
<i>behind other people in a group, last row on the end.</i></td></tr>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">At this time last year, I would have not been able to make it to the end </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">of a 25-meter pool without difficulty. I looked very much as</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">I did in the above picture when I approached an Indianapolis Aquatic</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Masters coach about joining his group at the IUPUI Natatorium.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I'd seen swimmers wearing black caps, swimming back and forth a few</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">lanes from me, whose relaxed swimming resembled sleek, black </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">seals. When I asked Craig how I could learn to swim like that</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">he said, "Show up." No, I meant do I have to meet a certain time</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">standard or be able to swim certain strokes (i.e., the butterfly)?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">"No," he said, "we'll help you with that."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">And repeated, "Show up."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">A few weeks later, I began doing just that, starting with two times </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">a week, then three, quickly progressing to four sessions </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">a week. I am now looking to add a fifth day.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I wouldn't have thought it at first, because I had a difficult time</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">just getting the skill and confidence to swim one length</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">of the Natatorium's 50-meter pool. I frustrated Craig, who</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">came to me with techniques and tricks designed</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">to help me with my stroke. Craig was very happy as I began</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">to show progress; he is an outgoing, exuberant man who</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">loves teaching and it showed with every little bit</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">of success I've shown him. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNDSfDXg-Z_t0_roSL0BBQ9B9vd9z5ZZSYBxHvZfsHwtaikfReUHBIuW_sS4_YGaNBAUy2GZfP_XmHialiSN3ZYbF65afyCT-If6_py-2DkRelYq6YtzXae6pCP-5jXrN2gPyVM-aDGs0/s1600/100times100-Brian-and-friends.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNDSfDXg-Z_t0_roSL0BBQ9B9vd9z5ZZSYBxHvZfsHwtaikfReUHBIuW_sS4_YGaNBAUy2GZfP_XmHialiSN3ZYbF65afyCT-If6_py-2DkRelYq6YtzXae6pCP-5jXrN2gPyVM-aDGs0/s320/100times100-Brian-and-friends.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>This photo was taken by IAM Founder and Assistant Coach,<br />Mel Goldstein at the first day of the IAM 100 X 100 Swims. I am not<br />in this photo as I gave out after about two hours.</i></td></tr>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Overall, as the pounds have fallen away, I've seen my body </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">change, becoming firm and strong. </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">My step and </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">posture have changed as I become increasingly confident.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Joining IAM has been one of the best things </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I've done for myself. Ever. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I've never known such a group of positive, supportive </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">people. I've gone from having </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">little panic attacks </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">each time I approached the pool, </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">to being able </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">to swim about two hours. </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">I've gone from wondering </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">whether I might ever be </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">able to accomplish </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">any goals, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">to looking forward </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">to new challenges, </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">trying to </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">perform whatever </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">new tests the coaches </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">ask me to learn, as well as those I set for myself.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Swim a half mile in under thirty minutes, </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">as well as be able to complete two-and-a-half miles?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Let's see what the year brings as I work </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">to achieve that </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">goal.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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Speedwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16294062505751359294noreply@blogger.com1